August 10, 2006
In the summer of 1995, I attended Peniel Holiness Camp in Pennsylvania just like I did every summer prior since I was 3. My brother, Tommy left a short message about this camp on the website dated July 23,2006. Camp has held special memories and meaning for everyone in my family, and many other families as well. This particular summer, I went to the missionary service on the last Thursday of the week. I have always been drawn to missions, ever since I can remember. I loved to hear about these ordinary people going to places I hadn't even heard of, and seeing the slideshows of all of the people they had grown to love and witness to. Kato Boldon was the missionary speaker that day, speaking on the American Indian Field. I had met him the summer prior at camp when he was a counselor. I remember the song by Al Denson playing, "Will you be the one?". I went to an Al Denson concert a few years prior to this day and I remember standing up and singing the words at that concert as the song was played. I gave my life to Jesus at a very young age, and my parents did a wonderful job raising us in a good church. I want to post the lyrics to this song for you all to read.
Be The One
In a world full of broken dreams
Where the truth is hard to find
For every promise that is kept
There are many left behind
Though it seems that nobody cares
It still matters what you do
Cause there's a difference you can make
But the choice is up to you
Will you be the one
To answer to His call
Will you stand
When those around you fall
Will you be the one
To take His light
Into a darkened world
Tell me will you be the one
Oh sometimes it's hard to know
Who is right and what is wrong
And where are you supposed to stand
When the battle lines are drawn
There's a voice that is calling out
For someone who's not afraid
To be a beacon in the night
For a world that's lost its way
There are still some battles
That I must fight from day to day
Yet the Lord provides the power
For me to stand and say
I will be the one
To answer to His call
I will stand
When those around me fall
I will be the one
To take His light
Into a darkened world
I will be the one
At the end of the missionary service that day at camp, there was an altar
call. I know that sometimes, young people especially, can get caught up in the
emotion in services like that, where they go up to the altar because their
friends go up. Not that their intentions are not good, but life decisions were
not always made and carried out as a result. I went up to the altar that day and
I told God that I wanted to take His light into a world that needed to hear how much He loves them. As I
said, my brothers and I were raised in church. We went every Sunday morning,
Sunday night, and Wednesday night. The comedian Mark Lowry once said in a show
he performed that anytime the doors at church were open, they were there. Our
family was the same way. My dad used to lead the worship portion of the church
service at Frost Road Chapel, and I used to stand on a folding chair right there
next to him behind the pulpit and sing away. We had a very Christ centered home
and parents that love each other. We were a middle class family, but I consider
us to have been rich in nonmaterial things we had.. the values that were
instilled in us. I knew God loved me, and I gave my life to him when I was
very young. That being said, I knew I wanted to share what God had done for me,
but I did not feel like I had a testimony that people could relate to; That
people who were in need could talk to me and feel like I understood where they
were coming from. I was never addicted to alcohol or drugs or gambling, etc. to
say that God had freed me from these things. I prayed for God to give me a
testimony that people would truly see what God has done for me, and how much He
loves us and takes care of us. At all the missionary services I had been to,
they would always say, "you don't have to go away to Africa to be a
missionary. You can be one right there at home, or work, or school. You can be a
missionary to your neighbors and friends." For me personally, at the time, I felt like
this was a cop out. I felt like in order for me to be really dedicated and
committed, I needed to go far away and live with no running water and no
electricity, just like those missionaries who would come to our church. Since that day in 1995, I kept waiting for God's call to a specific
place in the mission field. I was willing to accept where ever He wanted me to
go. When I graduated high school, it was time for me to start making the decisions about what I would do
for the rest of my life. I struggled with it because I felt like I wasn't in the
place I needed to be, or doing what I was called to do. Still, I continued to
pray for a testimony. I had no idea what God had planned!
When I found out that Jeff had cancer that summer in 2004, I was very confused. None of us had ever been sick, no broken bones, nothing. I have honestly never been mad at God through this, He has given me the peace of knowing that sickness does not come from Him, so my anger would be directed in the wrong place if it was at Him. I felt helpless at the time.. what could I do for Jeff that would make any sort of difference? It was very hard to absorb and deal with. It has been amazing to see Jeff's attitude through his battle. He has been calm and at peace with God. He continued to work, to run, to sing at church... all of the things he loved doing. When Tommy wrote that Jeff has been a role model for all of us, he really and truly has been. When I was diagnosed with cancer the following year, I really felt like God was finally extending His call to me 10 years later. I would never wish cancer on anyone, but I am so thankful that I had Jeff there to know how I felt. I would call him whenever I got good results, and we would encourage each other. Kaylee, Josh, and Nathan would pray for me every night (and they would pray for my hair to grow back!). I could not think of a better person to look up to during this time. I tell people all the time that if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't change my situation. God has given me a great testimony. I now have proof that other people can see, that when I was sick, God healed me. While I was going through my treatments, I felt like God was calling me to write a book about my experiences. One night in particular, it was really on my mind. I prayed about it, and God gave me Psalm 102:18 "Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord." I felt like God was confirming that I needed to get my story out there, and give Him the glory for what He has been doing for me. When this website became available again, I thought, what better way to let people know? I am so thankful for the volume of people that check this site, and continue to lift our family up in prayer. I am confident that God can see the bigger picture of our family and that He is in control of everyday.
We see Jeff on a daily basis, so we see how God is moving. I just have to tell you all that Jeff's faith and love for God is unlike anything I have ever seen in my life. A few nights ago, my dad prayed with all of us in Jeff's room before we went home for the night. Afterwards, Jeff asked to add something. He began singing: "Thank you, Oh my father, for giving us your Son, and leaving Your spirit here till your work on earth is done". My dad thanked Him for the love he has, and Jeff stated that he doesn't know it any other way. On our drive home, my husband commented on how much faith Jeff has. It is hard for me to express how much I feel God's hand on Jeff in words that I think people would really understand. Jeff encourages us daily . He smiles more than I ever remember him smiling before. He is an incredible witness to his doctors, nurses, the other residents and families, and to all of us. We never know what God has planned for us. When I was 14, I promised to go through whatever God wanted me to. I know Jeff has done the same at some point in his life, and God has given him a calm and gentle spirit as he fights this. I am not saying that you will have the same situations occur if you agree to follow Him. I am just saying that He will bless all of our situations if we will let Him. I want to leave you with one more song by Avalon. This came on WCRF the other day that I was visiting Jeff.
If My People Pray
Now is the season for healing
Deeply we need to see God's mercy revealing
Where we have fallen from his way
For we know He gives hope to the humble,
Gives light in the darkness and grace when we stumble
Let us call on His name together
Knowing He will say
If My people pray
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