August 26, 2010
Just after my last post, the pain in my hip became so bad I thought I may have possibly fractured it somehow. Normally I am pretty active, but since radiation I have just been so tired that I know I hadn't done much. I couldn't think of a single thing I could have done to injure it. I was taking pain pills and it was barely taking the edge off. I couldn't walk, sit down, move once I was laying down, even turn over when I was trying to sleep.
If you have read this site long, you will know there is a recurring theme to our family vacations. We just seem to have everything and anything try to prevent us from getting together as a family. I don't think everyone can or will understand that I have always believed that this is the work of the enemy and not coincidence. And this year was no different. I had made it through radiation and thankfully the timing worked where I would be home for a full week before leaving again for South Carolina. But now out of nowhere, I literally could barely walk. I chose not to call my doctor because for one, I knew that there wasn't much he could do anyhow. Even if I went in for scans asap, and even if it showed progression of disease in my hip area, I have only had two rounds of the new chemo and that would not really be enough to take care of the problem so I didn't think he would change my chemo. Not to mention that I just finished radiation and I can't have any chemo yet anyhow. I was afraid of not being able to go on this vacation with my family. And if I could go, would I just have to sit there the whole time because I couldn't walk? I decided prayer would be what the Doctor ordered.
I went over to my mom's and she along with her neighbor and friend came over to pray with me. They have both been prayer warriors for me and I just knew that God would meet us there. We prayed and when I got home, the pain actually got worse. We all continued to pray about it and later that night I sent my mom a video on my phone of my jumping around and dancing. The pain was almost gone!
Over the course of the next few days the pain came and went. We left on Friday afternoon for our vacation. Mike and I drove in one car, my parents and Brian went in another. Tom and Jenn and the girls were on another vacation that week in Florida so they would be leaving Florida on Saturday morning to meet us in South Carolina. Reed and Gwen and the kids were on their way as well as another car with a family we are very close to. 20 of us in all would be meeting at our beach house around 4 pm. On the way down, he hit some rain and I called my mom to tell her to look for a rainbow. I know rainbows have a lot of meaning for a lot of people, and the same is true for me. I have referred to my family's situation over the course of the last several years as a storm. The rainbows are the promise that we will not be flooded.
Sure enough, they were able to see a rainbow. Not just one. A double rainbow!
We all made it safely to our beach house in South Myrtle Beach. We had a really fun week at the beach and in our pool. There was no shortage of food or fun.
Towards the middle of the week, I was praying one morning and asking God to please let us have many more of these vacations together. We didn't know that the vacation we took together in 2004 would be our last complete family vacation with Jeff. I am so blessed to have such a fun family. I want to go on many more vacations together. What did we need to do to end this cycle with our family? To end what the enemy keeps trying to steal? Did we all need to pray together while we were there? I prayed about it and asked God to just show me something from Him to reassure me. I don't always like to ask for "signs" but I do ask to see God everyday.
That day it rained a bit and there was the biggest rainbow over the ocean I have ever seen! I have never actually seen a rainbow over the ocean before and it was amazing because nothing was blocking the view of seeing the entire thing. And wouldn't you know it, there wasn't just one rainbow.... but another double!! (You can see it best in the first picture)
It didn't click to me until later that I had asked for something from God that day and my entire family was there to see something so beautiful.
The rest of the week went so fast. I was relieved that all of the kids were okay with my bald head! (Jenn told me one day that I was looking a little bit light headed... get it? I thought it was really funny!) And we all made it back safe and sound to Ohio.
When I got home, I decided that I was going to really commit to praying for this residual pain in my hip. I was still having to take pain medication and I didn't want to do that anymore. So I have been doing just that. And I have been asking to see more and more of God everyday. I love when small things happen that have God's big fingerprint all over them. Monday I got a package in the mail from a church that I know a lot of people. I am friends with the woman who works with the kids' program there. Inside this package was a t shirt with all of the kids handprints on it in paint. There was a card with it saying that the kids were all continuing to stand with me for my healing. This literally brought tears to my eyes as I am so thankful for the prayers of children. They pray in faith and there is no reason why God would not hear them.
On Tuesday I stopped over Tom and Jenn's for a little bit. I had on an Under Armour shirt that says: "She's a fighter" on it with the Under Armour logo. It has a breast cancer ribbon on the back. I don't normally wear a lot with the ribbons on it but I liked this shirt because it wasn't a "survivor" shirt but a FIGHTER!
Emily asked me what my shirt said and I told her. She just laughed and said "Nooo.... you're a spider!"
I think she thought the logo looked like a spider and that is why she said that, but I told her "Emily, you have no idea how funny that is that you just said that."
In my last couple of entries, I have talked about spiders in the sink. And how the spider in my sink made it out alive! People started calling me Spidey after that. And Emily is 3... she didn't know about all of that.
In the last couple of days since I have been home, the pain I had is nearly gone. For the most part I don't feel it at all. I haven't taken pain medicine since Saturday! There is absolutely still power in prayer. Yay God!
I go back out to CTCA on Sunday for EARLY appointments Monday morning. I will have chemo at 10 am and hopefully be on our way home by 1:30 or so. I will at least have a brain MRI in September and it will be up to my doctor if I have all of my other scans then as well. I feel pretty good but have still been really tired from the radiation and still randomly can't keep my food down.
Thanks for standing with me to pray this cancer stuff away for good.
Click here to listen to Healer by Kari Jobe
I will try and post more pictures of our vacation on the homepage soon!