September 7, 2007

Acts 4:29-31 "Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus. " And after they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

I looked up the definition to a couple of words in those verses from Acts. The first was "miraculous" . Its definition reads "Able to work miracles". This led me to look up "miracle" which read "such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God". Then I looked up the word "boldly". Its definition reads "not hesitating or fearful in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff".

So it seems right that I could interpret this passage from Acts to mean that through the name of Jesus, we can speak and not hesitate or be afraid of any danger and have the power to be healed. The Holy Spirit in us gives us power that I don't know if any of us can fully understand or grasp. God knows I would do anything He asks of me. I have not been anywhere that He has not gone before me.

About a month ago, my computer completely fried itself. I thought I lost all of my entries and all of Jeff's entries on this site, and I was heart broken. It took awhile but we were able to replace the hard drive and retrieve my entries off of the published site on the web. The pages will look a bit different until I can go back through them all and make them look the way they used to. Anyway, about the same time, I began to feel a pain in my chest, just to the right of my sternum. The pain started out as small as the tip of my finger. I also noticed my neck was hurting on the right side as well. I waited for about two weeks, and the pain got progressively worse before calling the chiropractor. The chiropractor that I go to has treated my brother, Tommy, when he injured his back a few years ago. When Jeff got really sick last summer, this doctor would make house calls to him to try and make him more comfortable. He suggested that Jeff go to the hospital to be checked out, and I believe that God used this doctor to keep my brother here longer by getting him the care he needed. He came to visit Jeff at Hospice and even brought his boat in case Jeff could make it out to go fishing. The first time I met him was at Jeff's calling hours. I was so impressed that a doctor would go out of his way to help my family. Initially, we thought I may have injured a rib, but an x ray excluded that. I had already had two other check ups scheduled, a mammogram and a follow up with my oncologist. My mammogram was scheduled for August 27. On the 26, I could feel a mass that was not there before. Same side as the first cancer, just a different spot. I went in to have my exam done the next day. They always go over your history and your medications, etc. beforehand. After the x rays are taken, they send you out into a private waiting area while the radiologist reviews the film to see if a clear picture was captured. If it was, you are free to leave. This time, I was called back for a second time to get another picture. I could just tell from the technologist's face that they found that little annoying thing I found the day before. I went home after the second film was taken.

No news for the next couple of days. Labor Day came and Mike and I went to my mom and dad's. We were being silly, and I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Laughter is great medicine, except when you have something wrong with your chest! I left my parents house shortly after and I was barely able to walk or breathe the pain was so bad. I almost had Mike take me to the emergency room, but I knew that I had a doctors appointment that Thursday if I could just hang on. I decided to try and call my doctor on Tuesday, just to make her aware of the pain I was having. Tuesday morning, I called at 9:00 am, right when they open. The phone just rang and rang. I've never called the doctor and got no answer! So I tried again later.... same thing! I kept calling until almost 11:00 am and was never able to get through. I felt God reminding me about something I heard once. Doctors call what they do "practicing medicine". Why was I running to call someone who is practicing, rather than the Great Physician?

Wednesday night when I got home from work, it was close to 11:30 pm. I saw the mail sitting on the counter and a letter from Akron General Hospital was there. I knew it was the results to my mammogram, as this is the method they have of relaying results, no matter what kind. My heart sank as I stumbled across the word "Abnormality".

I had a doctor's appointment the following day, which was the 6th. She told me that they were going to do a biopsy and also a bone density scan to see what is wrong with my chest. The scan is scheduled for Monday, the 10th at 6:30 am. If you have read my other entries, you will recall that I have had this done once before. It requires them to draw blood, inject it with radioactive material and re-inject it. You have to wait for two hours and then come back in for the test. I meet with my surgeon on Wednesday, the 12th, to discuss when the biopsy will be done. Wednesday, September 12th is the two year anniversary of the day I had my first biopsy. I was diagnosed on September 14, 2005. My birthday is the 11th so I am thankful to have that day to just relax and try not to think about any of this.

The thing that I have to keep telling myself is that God healed me of this disease. He died so I could be free. I will not accept these events as God's will. Again, I will battle whatever He calls me to. But I certainly believe that He has given us the power through His Holy Spirit to stand boldly, able to perform miraculous signs and wonders. Please pray that these symptoms I am having will be healed. 

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