September 13, 2007
But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on September 14, 2005. That day started a whirlwind of tests and procedures into motion that would forever change my life.
Today is September 13, 2007 and I have, again, been diagnosed with breast cancer, this time in my breast bone.
I waited by my telephone all day long. I tried to sleep as long as I could this morning, just to make time go by without things weighing on my mind. I did not want to leave the house, or even get a shower for fear of missing the phone call from my surgeon. I called his office at around 11:15, and just let the receptionist know that I had an appointment the day prior and was sent over for a cat scan that I was waiting to hear results from. She informed me that my doctor was in surgery and would call me in between cases. So I waited. My mom and Mike both called me throughout the day asking if I had heard any news. I assured them that when I knew, they would be the first ones I would call. I finally risked getting a shower at 3:00 just because I couldn't stand not having had one yet! Mike called shortly after and asked me to call the office again. So I did. The same receptionist answered the phone, and I apologized for calling again. She didn't mind at all, and checked on the status of the call I was waiting for. She informed me again that my doctor was still in surgery, and he promised to call me as soon as he got out. At 4:23, my caller ID showed that of the hospital. On the other end of the line was my very soft spoken surgeon. He apologized that it had taken so long to call me but he had just gotten the official report back from the radiologist that read my scan. He let me know that a small tumor showed up in my breast bone. He said he was very encouraged that my lungs were clear, but was concerned about my breast bone and the other spots that showed up in my mammogram. I asked him if the tumor in my breast bone was for sure related to the first cancer, and he said it was highly suggestive that is was. He said what they would do now is set me up with another surgeon to see about removing a portion of my breast bone. Mike's dad is familiar with the surgeon, and said he is a heart surgeon. I am thinking I have to see someone different because it involves removing bone. I have obviously not gotten all of my questions answered, and I will know more next week. Tomorrow, I will be setting up appointments with this second surgeon, my oncologist, and I will be having a biopsy performed on the areas that showed up on my mammogram next Friday the 21. From there I will have surgery and get started on medication. I am not sure if this will involve the same type of chemotherapy as before, or if they will try something different.
I will say again that I know that God has never left me. I am being called up to fight again, and I will do it as many times as I am summoned. I ask that you all continue to fight this with me. I am not claiming this diagnosis above God's promises for me. All I have ever been able to control is my attitude and my faith. I still believe I have those two things in tact, and Satan has nothing on me. I will keep you posted any time I hear anything. I so appreciate the support I feel just knowing that people are praying. Know that God puts people on my mind to pray for too, and I will continue to be obedient to what He wants from me.
This is a song that Jeff has sung before, and I wanted to post the lyrics as a promise for myself and for anyone else who is struggling to get through something.
I've had visions and I've had dreams;
Well I've even held them in my hands,
But I never knew those dreams could slip right through
Like they were only grains of sand.
Now I have been young, but I am older now.
O and there has been beauty these eyes have seen;
But it was in the night, when I faced the storms of my life.
Oh, that's where God proved His love to me.
I said I've fallen, fallen down on my knees
as I faced the raging seas;
But the Anchor holds, in spite of the storm.
My Anchor holds!