September 14, 2007

My phone rang this morning, waking me up just after 9 am. The caller ID showed that of my surgeon's office. I answered, trying not to sound like I just woke up. The receptionist let me know that the doctor would like for me to come to his office at 1:00. I said okay, and hung up the phone. She called right back and added that the doctor wanted me to bring my mom along with Mike and I. I tried to think of what he could want. I know that there is a real possibility of needing a mastectomy, and I thought he might want to go over that procedure. Maybe he thought another female being present would be helpful. I talk to Mike's Aunt Laura (I guess by now I should be saying my Aunt Laura) every time I get news, or even no news, and she prays with me over the phone. I had called her last night and left a message. She returned my call this morning and I let her know the news I got yesterday. Mike's mom had already called her, so she just really wanted to know what God was telling me at this point. I just keep repeating that I will not claim the diagnosis over God's promises. I have really learned over the years how to fight this fight, yet I feel like I still have so much to learn. This is what I know... Satan does not have the same authority that God has. Satan does have power, but we can have greater power through the Holy Spirit. God does not give us the spirit of fear, and therefore does not cause our sickness. He may allow it if He can work good from it. He will not give us more than we can handle, even if it is more than we can in our opinion! He died on the cross to give us hope and gives us the power to do amazing things through the Holy Spirit. We just have to learn how to grasp onto that. It sounds so easy, yet so few know how to do it. To really pray for healing means to believe with faith that it will happen... that God can intercede and perform miracles.

I talked to Laura this morning, and she prayed with me once again. While she prayed, I felt God do a number of things for me that I wanted to share. First, I felt God telling me to claim victory over this disease today... the two year anniversary of my diagnosis. To claim that this disease stops today. Satan does not have the authority to put this disease in my bones! Second, as she prayed, I put my hand over my chest. I could feel the spot on my bone throbbing as her words of God's healing poured out. I envisioned this tumor being broken apart into little pieces and just falling away. A few minutes later I felt God telling me that his blood was washing over me, taking the place of my own blood. My blood, which carried this disease, was being empowered by His blood and the cancer was being washed away. Laura called forth the breath of God to breathe down healing. I looked out my kitchen window and there were hundreds of those dried up dandelions blowing around outside my window, only for a moment and then there were none. It was as if His breath stirred all around me. I am writing this as a testimony for all to see that I have the faith in God's power. I know that anyone could make up reasons for all of these events that I just described, but I am willing to put my faith in the One who makes the most sense to me.

I arrived at my doctor's office at 1:00 with my mom and Mike. Up to the third floor we went. We sat in the waiting room, which was completely empty, for only a moment before being called back. Knowing that I had sat in the same seat exactly two years prior is just bizarre to me. The doctor explained things to me again. He said that the bone scan and cat scan were both highly suggestive that this is a recurrence of breast cancer. He said that the tumor occupies a portion of my breastbone. He also said that ideally, they would be able to remove only the portion of breastbone that is affected. He wanted to schedule me for another cat scan, this one of my neck because of the pain I have had there. That pain started the same time as my chest pain, which is concerning to them. Even though nothing showed up in my neck on the bone scan, he said sometimes the cat scan can show something the bone scan wouldn't. If the scan came back showing that there was tumor in my neck as well, they would not operate on my breastbone. He said that once it has gone to more than one area of bone, then surgery will not benefit me.

That cat scan is scheduled for Monday the 17 at 10 am. The biopsy of my breast tissue will be performed at 11 am, Friday the 21. That biopsy requires me to go under general anesthesia and will last about an hour. I won't know results from that until the following Monday. If the scan this Monday comes back negative, and the biopsy comes back positive, then I will be scheduled shortly after for a mastectomy and removal of that portion of breast bone. He said that it was almost certain that I would have to undergo chemotherapy again, but may be different so they can try and fight what is in the bone.

I am praying for God to move this mountain. I am praying that the scan on Monday will come back clear! I am praying for this tumor to be broken apart and washed clean by His healing blood! Please pray for Satan to be defeated and bound!

Mark 5:25-34

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once, Jesus realized that power had gone out of him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?" "You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' " But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then a woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

I am reaching out. I just need to touch Him.

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