September 22, 2006

So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick." When He heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." John 11:3-4

I did not expect today to be an easy day. I believe there is a war going on that we cannot see with our eyes, but can feel in our hearts. With so many of God's people praying today, I fully expected Satan to fight back. Last night, Thursday, Gwen said that around 10:30, she felt a presence in the room that did not make her feel easy. I felt the same thing the night I went to the emergency room last September just after I was diagnosed. Gwen said she picked up her Bible and started reading from Psalms, praying as she went. Just after midnight, my mom was in the next room wondering if people had begun to pray. It was around this time that Gwen felt a calm in the room. Jeff was having a much better day today up until about 3:00 this afternoon. His pain returned, and his breathing became more labored. The doctor was not optimistic. I can't help but wonder if this was already going to happen today, and that was why we felt led to designate today to pray, or if this set back occurred because so many are praying and Satan tried to cause us to give up. Our family met at the Hospice House tonight, just to support each other and to be there for Jeff. He is sleeping most of the time, but does respond when spoken to. We know he hears us. His pain is being controlled as well.

Before I went to see Jeff tonight, I made it clear that I was not giving up. I was not going there to say good bye. I have continued to ask for wisdom as to how I should pray. The whole drive up to Euclid, and the whole time I was there, a song kept playing over in my head. I don't know all the details on the song. All I know is the song is called "John 11", and it is sung by Randall Goodgame. He opened for Caedmon's Call when Mike and I went to see them a few years back, and I bought one of his cds. I came home and looked for the cd because I hadn't heard "John 11" for a long time, and I was curious what message God had. The cd was right next to my computer. Just before I left Jeff's tonight, Gwen gave me a hug and said "We're still praying for a miracle" She also told me that one of Kaylee's friends prayed for Jeff to be raised up like Lazarus, a big prayer for someone only 10 years old. I want to share some of the lyrics to song," John 11"

Use the controls to listen to the song

I rise up like Lazarus in John 11

I throw out my grave clothes, put on the armor of the Lord

I rise up like Lazarus, dry all the tears Mary cried.

When I fall on my knees, I rise

O sometimes, I want to sing along when the crow sings its nasty song

Like Mary and Martha, "Please don't let our brother die"

How quickly I forget the story of the painful days before God's glory was revealed

And Jesus cried

Now I rise up like Lazarus in John 11

Throw out my grave clothes, put on the armor of the Lord

I rise up like Lazarus, dry all the tears Mary cried.

When I fall on my knees, I rise.


"Then Jesus said, 'Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?'" John 11:40

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