September 23, 2007
Last night, Mike and I had to go to the hospital to pick up a copy of the CT scan I had on my neck so I could take it with me Monday morning when I go to see the neurosurgeon. Along with the cd with the actual scan pictures on it, I received a copy of the report sent to my surgeon with the findings of the scan. The very last 2 lines of the report say this: "Impression: Aggressive appearing lesion involving the right pedicle and right facet processes of the C5 vertebra suspicious for a metastatic legion. The possibility of a benign aggressive legion causing this appearance is felt to be less likely but cannot be entirely excluded." Although less likely, I will still cling to anything that lines up with what I know is God's will. God has the ability to make the impossible possible. I was reading my Bible when I got home and I felt God telling me He had a scripture for me. The only way I can explain it is that I felt like He was leading me to search some verses out that had to do with the present. I thought about yesterday's date, which was 9:22 and even today's date which is 9:23. So I looked in my Bible for all the books that had a 9th chapter and a 22 or 23rd verse. I found several and read them. Some pertained to me, but nothing stood out as what God wanted for me. I started thinking maybe it wasn't a date, but I knew it had something to do with that. I was still asking God to help me figure out what He wanted me to read while I was at church this morning.
God has really been reminding me this week that His blood shed is more than enough for what I am going through. (Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.) He died so that I could have hope and healing. It has been on my heart to take communion, and I was thankful that we were able to participate in communion this morning in our church service. He has also been reminding me that any fear I have does not come from Him, and therefore I can refute it. (Isaiah 54:15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you.)
After church was over, we stopped to say hi to Mike's aunt and uncle. His aunt was talking to a woman that I was introduced to. She told me that God gave her the name Amy to pray for last week. She also asked me right away how old I was. People comment on how young I am to go through this, but I don't really have many people ask my age. I told her I was 27. She immediately began praying for me. She let me know that she was feeling like God was speaking Psalm 27, but did not go into what it said. After I got home, I was sitting on my couch and it hit me all of a sudden. That must have been what God had wanted me to read. I got my Bible out, and this is what Psalm 27 says:
1. The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2. When evildoers assail me, uttering slanders against me, my adversaries and foes, they shall stumble and fall. 3. Though a host encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. 4. One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. 5. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent, he will set me high upon a rock. 6. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies round about me; and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord. 7. Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me! 8. Thou hast said, "Seek ye my face." My heart says to thee, "Thy face, Lord, do I seek." 9. Hide not thy face from me. Turn not thy servant away in anger, thou who hast been my help. Cast me not off, forsake me not, O God of my salvation! 10. For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up. 11. Teach me thy way, O Lord; and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. 12. Give me not up to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and they breathe out violence. 13. I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! 14. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yea, wait for the Lord!
Mike's aunt said that she felt God leading her to call for a fast. We all agreed that tomorrow, Monday the 24th, is the day we felt it is needed. I will find out the results from my biopsy, meet with the neurosurgeon and also with my oncologist to determine the next course of treatments. It is a day of decisions, and I need God's direction. Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life. We are continuing to pray for His Resurrection blood and His Life into my body. I have called out, and now I will wait on Him, and know that He will come.
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