September 24, 2007
The war is on!
I met with the neurosurgeon this morning as planned. He inserted the disk containing the CT scan of my neck. He showed me the picture of my neck. All but one of the bones are white, there is one that is shaded gray. That is the one that is concerning to them. However, he told me that of course everyone is going to consider my history and treat it as a spread of that cancer. But he also said that no one can tell me that for sure without actually performing a biopsy on it. He let me know that he would probably not go in to just stabilize it, he said he would biopsy it first and if it came back positive, that he thinks he could remove it. I am scheduled to go back in at 1:30 to get an MRI done on my neck so he can see the area better. I will be going straight over to the hospital afterwards to see my oncologist. She will have the results from my biopsy and also from this MRI. God has really been speaking to me last night, during the night, and this morning to really keep declaring victory over this. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. My body is God's temple, and Satan has no business here! I am praying for whatever showed up on the CT scan to be gone on the MRI. I will not put more trust in the doctors than in the One who created the doctors.
I am posting Psalm 119. I know it is long, but God gave me this on my way home from the doctor's today and I found it encouraging.
psalm 119
1. Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! 2.
Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart,
3. who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways! 4. Thou hast commanded thy
precepts to be kept diligently. 5. O that my ways may be steadfast in keeping
thy statutes! 6. Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all
thy commandments. 7. I will praise thee with an upright heart, when I learn thy
righteous ordinances. 8. I will observe thy statutes; O forsake me not utterly!
9. How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to thy word.
10. With my whole heart I seek thee; let me not wander from thy commandments!
11. I have laid up thy word in my heart, that I might not sin against thee. 12.
Blessed be thou, O Lord; teach me thy statutes! 13. With my lips I declare all
the ordinances of thy mouth. 14. In the way of thy testimonies I delight as much
as in all riches. 15. I will meditate on thy precepts, and fix my eyes on thy
ways. 16. I will delight in thy statutes; I will not forget thy word. 17. Deal
bountifully with thy servant, that I may live and observe thy word. 18. Open my
eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. 19. I am a sojourner on
earth; hide not thy commandments from me! 20. My soul is consumed with longing
for thy ordinances at all times. 21. Thou dost rebuke the insolent, accursed
ones, who wander from thy commandments; 22. take away from me their scorn and
contempt, for I have kept thy testimonies. 23. Even though princes sit plotting
against me, thy servant will meditate on thy statutes. 24. Thy testimonies are
my delight, they are my counselors. 25. My soul cleaves to the dust; revive me
according to thy word! 26. When I told of my ways, thou didst answer me; teach
me thy statutes! 27. Make me understand the way of thy precepts, and I will
meditate on thy wondrous works. 28. My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me
according to thy word! 29. Put false ways far from me; and
graciously teach me thy law! 30. I have chosen the way of faithfulness, I set
thy ordinances before me. 31. I cleave to thy testimonies, O Lord; let me not be
put to shame! 32. I will run in the way of thy commandments when thou
enlargest my understanding! 33. Teach me, O Lord, the way of thy
statutes; and I will keep it to the end. 34. Give me understanding, that I may
keep thy law and observe it with my whole heart. 35. Lead me in the path of thy
commandments, for I delight in it. 36. Incline my heart to thy testimonies, and
not to gain! 37. Turn my eyes from looking at vanities; and give me life in thy
ways. 38. Confirm to thy servant thy promise, which is for those who fear thee.
39. Turn away the reproach which I dread; for thy ordinances are good. 40.
Behold, I long for thy precepts; in thy righteousness give me life! 41. Let
thy steadfast love come to me, O Lord, thy salvation according to thy promise;
42. then shall I have an answer for those who taunt me, for I trust in thy word.
43. And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, for my hope is in
thy ordinances. 44. I will keep thy law continually, for ever and ever;
45. and I shall walk at liberty, for I have sought thy precepts. 46. I
will also speak of thy testimonies before kings, and shall not be put to shame;
47. for I find my delight in thy commandments, which I love. 48. I
revere thy commandments, which I love, and I will meditate on thy statutes. 49.
Remember thy word to thy servant, in which thou hast made me hope. 50. This
is my comfort in my affliction that thy promise gives me life. 51.
Godless men utterly deride me, but I do not turn away from thy law. 52. When I
think of thy ordinances from of old, I take comfort, O Lord. 53. Hot indignation
seizes me because of the wicked, who forsake thy law. 54. Thy statutes have been
my songs in the house of my pilgrimage. 55. I remember thy name in the night, O
Lord, and keep thy law. 56. This blessing has fallen to me, that I have kept thy
precepts. 57. The Lord is my portion; I promise to keep thy words. 58. I entreat
thy favor with all my heart; be gracious to me according to thy promise. 59.
When I think of thy ways, I turn my feet to thy testimonies; 60. I hasten and do
not delay to keep thy commandments. 61. Though the cords of the wicked ensnare
me, I do not forget thy law. 62. At midnight I rise to praise thee, because of
thy righteous ordinances. 63. I am a companion of all who fear thee, of those
who keep thy precepts. 64. The earth, O Lord, is full of thy steadfast love;
teach me thy statutes! 65. Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O Lord,
according to thy word. 66. Teach me good judgment and knowledge, for I believe
in thy commandments. 67. Before I was afflicted I went astray; but now I keep
thy word. 68. Thou art good and doest good; teach me thy statutes. 69. The
godless besmear me with lies, but with my whole heart I keep thy precepts; 70.
their heart is gross like fat, but I delight in thy law. 71. It is good for me
that I was afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes. 72. The law of thy mouth
is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces. 73. Thy hands have
made and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn thy commandments.
74. Those who fear thee shall see me and rejoice, because I have hoped in
thy word. 75. I know, O Lord, that thy judgments are right, and that in
faithfulness thou hast afflicted me. 76. Let thy steadfast love be ready to
comfort me according to thy promise to thy servant. 77. Let thy mercy come to
me, that I may live; for thy law is my delight. 78. Let the godless be put to
shame, because they have subverted me with guile; as for me, I will meditate on
thy precepts. 79. Let those who fear thee turn to me, that they may know thy
testimonies. 80. May my heart be blameless in thy statutes, that I may not be
put to shame! 81. My soul languishes for thy salvation; I hope in thy word. 82.
My eyes fail with watching for thy promise; I ask, "When wilt thou comfort
me?" 83. For I have become like a wineskin in the smoke, yet I have not
forgotten thy statutes. 84. How long must thy servant endure? When wilt thou
judge those who persecute me? 85. Godless men have dug pitfalls for me, men who
do not conform to thy law. 86. All thy commandments are sure; they persecute me
with falsehood; help me! 87. They have almost made an end of me on earth; but I
have not forsaken thy precepts. 88. In thy steadfast love spare my life, that I
may keep the testimonies of thy mouth. 89. For ever, O Lord, thy word is firmly
fixed in the heavens. 90. Thy faithfulness endures to all generations; thou hast
established the earth, and it stands fast. 91. By thy appointment they stand
this day; for all things are thy servants. 92. If thy law had not been my
delight, I should have perished in my affliction. 93. I will never forget thy
precepts; for by them thou hast given me life. 94. I am thine, save me; for I
have sought thy precepts. 95. The wicked lie in wait to destroy me; but I
consider thy testimonies. 96. I have seen a limit to all perfection, but thy
commandment is exceedingly broad. 97. Oh, how I love thy law! It is my
meditation all the day. 98. Thy commandment makes me wiser than my
enemies, for it is ever with me. 99. I have more understanding than all
my teachers, for thy testimonies are my meditation. 100. I understand more than
the aged, for I keep thy precepts. 101. I hold back my feet from every evil way,
in order to keep thy word. 102. I do not turn aside from thy ordinances, for
thou hast taught me. 103. How sweet are thy words to my taste, sweeter than
honey to my mouth! 104. Through thy precepts I get understanding; therefore I
hate every false way. 105. Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my
path. 106. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to observe thy
righteous ordinances. 107. I am sorely afflicted; give me life, O Lord,
according to thy word! 108. Accept my offerings of praise, O Lord, and
teach me thy ordinances. 109. I hold my life in my hand continually, but I do
not forget thy law. 110. The wicked have laid a snare for me, but I do not stray
from thy precepts. 111. Thy testimonies are my heritage for ever; yea, they are
the joy of my heart. 112. I incline my heart to perform thy statutes for ever,
to the end. 113. I hate double-minded men, but I love thy law. 114. Thou art my
hiding place and my shield; I hope in thy word. 115. Depart from me, you
evildoers, that I may keep the commandments of my God. 116. Uphold me according
to thy promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope!
117. Hold me up, that I may be safe and have regard for thy statutes
continually! 118. Thou dost spurn all who go astray from thy statutes; yea,
their cunning is in vain. 119. All the wicked of the earth thou dost count as
dross; therefore I love thy testimonies. 120. My flesh trembles for fear of
thee, and I am afraid of thy judgments. 121. I have done what is just and right;
do not leave me to my oppressors. 122. Be surety for thy servant for good; let
not the godless oppress me. 123. My eyes fail with watching for thy salvation,
and for the fulfilment of thy righteous promise. 124. Deal with thy servant
according to thy steadfast love, and teach me thy statutes. 125. I am thy
servant; give me understanding, that I may know thy testimonies! 126. It
is time for the Lord to act, for thy law has been broken. 127. Therefore
I love thy commandments above gold, above fine gold. 128. Therefore I
direct my steps by all thy precepts; I hate every false way. 129. Thy
testimonies are wonderful; therefore my soul keeps them. 130. The unfolding of
thy words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. 131. With open
mouth I pant, because I long for thy commandments. 132. Turn to me and be
gracious to me, as is thy wont toward those who love thy name. 133. Keep steady
my steps according to thy promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.
134. Redeem me from man's oppression, that I may keep thy precepts. 135. Make
thy face shine upon thy servant, and teach me thy statutes. 136. My eyes shed
streams of tears, because men do not keep thy law. 137. Righteous art thou, O
Lord, and right are thy judgments. 138. Thou hast appointed thy testimonies in
righteousness and in all faithfulness. 139. My zeal consumes me, because my foes
forget thy words. 140. Thy promise is well tried, and thy servant loves it. 141.
I am small and despised, yet I do not forget thy precepts. 142. Thy
righteousness is righteous for ever, and thy law is true. 143. Trouble and
anguish have come upon me, but thy commandments are my delight. 144. Thy
testimonies are righteous for ever; give me understanding that I may live. 145.
With my whole heart I cry; answer me, O Lord! I will keep thy statutes. 146. I
cry to thee; save me, that I may observe thy testimonies. 147. I rise before
dawn and cry for help; I hope in thy words. 148. My eyes are awake before the
watches of the night, that I may meditate upon thy promise. 149. Hear my
voice in thy steadfast love; O Lord, in thy justice preserve my life.
150. They draw near who persecute me with evil purpose; they are far from thy
law. 151. But thou art near, O Lord, and all thy commandments are true. 152.
Long have I known from thy testimonies that thou hast founded them for ever.
153. Look on my affliction and deliver me, for I do not forget thy law.
154. Plead my cause and redeem me; give me life according to thy promise! 155.
Salvation is far from the wicked, for they do not seek thy statutes. 156. Great
is thy mercy, O Lord; give me life according to thy justice. 157. Many are my
persecutors and my adversaries, but I do not swerve from thy testimonies. 158. I
look at the faithless with disgust, because they do not keep thy commands. 159.
Consider how I love thy precepts! Preserve my life according to thy steadfast
love. 160. The sum of thy word is truth; and every one of thy righteous
ordinances endures for ever. 161. Princes persecute me without cause, but my
heart stands in awe of thy words. 162. I rejoice at thy word like one who finds
great spoil. 163. I hate and abhor falsehood, but I love thy law. 164. Seven
times a day I praise thee for thy righteous ordinances. 165. Great peace have
those who love thy law; nothing can make them stumble. 166. I hope for thy
salvation, O Lord, and I do thy commandments. 167. My soul keeps thy
testimonies; I love them exceedingly. 168. I keep thy precepts and
testimonies, for all my ways are before thee. 169. Let my cry come before thee,
O Lord; give me understanding according to thy word! 170. Let my supplication
come before thee; deliver me according to thy word. 171. My lips will pour forth
praise that thou dost teach me thy statutes. 172. My tongue will sing of thy
word, for all thy commandments are right. 173. Let thy hand be ready to help me,
for I have chosen thy precepts. 174. I long for thy salvation, O Lord, and thy
law is my delight. 175. Let me live, that I may praise thee, and let thy
ordinances help me. 176. I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy
servant, for I do not forget thy commandments.