October 18, 2007
Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
I remind myself everyday that my God is faithful. Even when I can't see the full realm of what is being accomplished each day, I can have faith that God can and does see it. My ultimate calling is to continue to be at a place that I hear Him and can continue making decisions out of faith and not fear.
I am scheduled to go back to CTCA in Illinois on Thursday October 25th. My mom will be going with me this time so Mike does not have to miss work again. We have decided to drive out so that I can try and have an easier trip home. It is about a 7 hour drive for us, but I still think that being able to lie down coming home will be better for me. I have an evaluation Thursday afternoon. Then, I will have to undergo a short operation to have a port placed for continued treatment. This will remain in me until I am finished with my treatments. I was told that I would be given 2 days of treatment this time, so as long as I am feeling okay, we will drive home when I am through on Saturday the 27th. My mom's birthday is the 26th, so we will get to spend the day together, even though I probably won't be much fun! The doctors will do a full CT scan of me every three months to monitor the progress being made. They will continue with this regimen unless I have new pain that develops. Otherwise, my pain should eventually start to decrease as the treatments begin working. The pain in my chest has not returned, but I still have that annoying pain in my neck! My hair began to fall out just a little yesterday. It had been 12 days since I started treatment... last time it took 14 days for it to start so I guess that is the normal timeframe. I will have a total of 6 cycles of this chemotherapy as long as everything goes to plan. I am waiting for God's complete healing, whether by His touch or through the medication.
As I said, I have to remind myself of God's promises each day. That is not a bad thing, they are there to encourage us. I will continue to stand firm in the hope I have professed, because the One who has promised me is faithful.